Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Mark Gatiss "confirms" next Doctor will be a woman - and he should "know" cos he's playing her!!!

"I intend my portrayal to be akin to Miss Hawethorne from that demon story - you know, the one they always bang on about." said Mark Gatiss yesterday. "That and Amelia Rumford, from the one about the big stones that eat people then turn them into giant maggots".
Gatiss was giving an exclusive interview for "Horse & Hound Bookazine" when I caught  up with him to ask about the malicious and totally unfounded rumours (started by me) that he had taken over the programme in a bloody coup at Roath Lock on Friday.
"Those executions were nothing to do with me!" he giggled, archly. "I'll be concentrating on make-up tests for the next three weeks - getting the lip shade right -  then finalising the plans for the new Doctor Who studios. By the way, are there any favourite hymns you'd like played at your funeral?".
When asked about this studio move, Roath Lock being only a year or so old, Gatiss explained that whilst Cardiff was all very well ("It's in Wales for heaven's sake!"), the crater of an extinct volcano off the coast of Japan made "a much better base for global domination... sorry, I mean TV studio...".
Steven Moffat has remained quietly stoic about all of this. That new sitcom of his - now retitled "Mark Gatiss Is A B******" is due to be screened on BBC3 this Autumn, starring Lee Mack, Will Mellor, Sheridan Smith, and BBC 3's other Will Mellor - with, ironically, Mark Gatiss playing himself, as well as everybody else. Nick Briggs will play the voice of the Daleks.
According to the Radio Times, it is due to be axed in 2015 because of falling ratings.


  1. Lolol......Gerry you are a terrible man :)
    It had me in stitches just what I needed to relieve the stress of Game of thones episode 9.

  2. Sadly I am one of those unfortunates who has to wait for the DVD box set for things like Game of Thrones, only having freeview.

  3. I shall say no more on the subject then and avoid anything to do with Game of Thrones online as you really do not want series 2 spoilt for you, you will so enjoy it Gerry.